... a diamond encrusted wedding dress made from a mile of tulle, held up by a 20 hooped underskirt, adorned with silver christmas bauble decorations, complete with two nappies on my hips to hold up the 15 stone weight and followed by a dozen bridesmaids in sickly sweet baby pink puffballs.
Oh and of course a groom who's spent the morning of his wedding day in the pub and can only be cajoled up the aisle after a skinful of booze!
All images © 2011 Channel 4
I'm off to give Thelma a call to discuss some designs!
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